For some reason I've been thinking a lot about a conversation that I had with my sister in law while I was in the worst part of my anorexia. I was days away from getting admitted to the hospital, yet I still believed that I didn't have a major problem. One of the signs of someone with an eating disorder; denial.
For some reason her question has stuck with me and has helped me keep things in perspective. We were talking about how much I had changed since the eating disorder had taken over my life. She said, "Would you rather be skinny and miserable or normal sized and happy?" It hit me. Being skinny was becoming the most important thing to me and I was the most unhappy I'd ever been in my life. The eating disorder makes you believe that once you are "skinny enough" you will be happy and you'll love the way you look. But the problem is no size is small enough and there's always more weight that could be lost. It's a never ending battle. But it's helped me a lot to think I'd rather be happy and normal sized than skinny and miserable....
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