Worry Wart

I have always been a worrier,  in first grade I missed 63 days of school, because I was too "sick" to go to school.  The truth was, going to school made me a nervous wreck, I thought my mom would forget about me or that she wouldn't be home when I got home.
I was diagnosed with ulcers when I was in 3rd grade worrying about getting hepatitis or diabetes.  Then in 6th grade I was positive that I was going to get kidnapped, either in the middle of the night or while I walked to school.  The worry continued, but subjects changed.
The difference between worriers and chronic worriers is that chronic worriers can not shut the worry off.  Chronic worriers lay awake at night, worrying about things coming up the next day or even in the years to come.  There are several underlying beliefs that are associated with chronic worry, and these beliefs may explain, in large part, why it is so difficult to turn off the worry.

1.  Perfectionism. or the underlying belief that one cannot, and should not, make mistakes, and that to make mistakes represents incompetence in managing life.

2.  Responsibility, or the underlying belief that it is irresponsible not to attend to negative possibilities, that worries that pop up in one's mind should not be ignored, and that worrying means that you are being responsible.

3.  Controllability, or the underlying belief that worry is a way of gaining control and preventing negative possibilities for coming true.  In other words, "I am glad I worried about my husband because he made it home safely from his trip," or "I am worried that I am not worrying."

4.  Negative beliefs about worry, or the belief that worry itself may drive you crazy, or that worrying indicates that you have lost your mind or are incapable of functioning.

It has helped me to continue to remind myself to "love what is...." (more about that later), also to know that everything that happens is supposed to happen and things will turn out just the way they are supposed to.  I have to say that I have gotten much better in the worrying department.  I rarely lay awake at night worrying and I've taught myself to stop the "what if" thoughts and replace them with more empowering, accurate thoughts, such as, "I can handle whatever happens in my life."  Some days I have to say that over and over to myself, but hey!  Whatever works!!