There has been many times in my life that I've thought, "This is not the way it's supposed to be" or "I've made too many mistakes, so the good things that were going to come into my life won't because of the choices I've made." I would have to really stop my brain from thinking negatively or making my future a catastrophe.
I believe that much of anxiety comes from distorted thinking. The weird thing for me is that on the outside I'd act as if I believed my life was going to turn out great, but on the inside, maybe even subconsciously, I was so scared of the worst happening to me.
Dr. F helped me realize that I had many thinking errors and distorted thoughts. In every thought there is a chemical reaction and the physical results follow. After so many years of literally scaring myself through my thoughts, I started to experience panic and major anxiety. Not the type of anxiety that everyone has, no, much darker and so intense. I thought my life was caving in on me and that I was going to be "sick" forever.
Dr. F gave me a helpful sheet that listed common cognitive distortions.
1. All or Nothing thinking: Looking at things in absolute, black and white categories. There is no middle ground. One mistake can make us feel like a total failure and ruin our day. This type of thinking is very unrealistic since things are rarely 100% one way or another.
2. Negative predictions or jumping to conclusions: We predict things will turn out negatively, often because of past experiences or emotional pain from the past.
3. Filtering information negatively: This involves picking a negative detail and dwelling on it. The total emphasis is placed on our weight, our looks, our health, ect... seeing only that piece. Filtering also involves a tendency to disqualify the positive as well. If 10 people compliment us and one person says something negative, we filter out the 10 and dwell on the one negative.
4. Mind Reading: With our negative distortions we often assume that others are reacting negatively toward us. Our inner dialogue leads us to believe that people are looking down on us or are angry without checking out what may really be going on.
5. Shoulds: This type of thinking indicates things have to be a certain way. Insisting something "should" or "shouldn't" be a certain way, feel a certain way, will intensify anxiety and depression. Learn to give yourself permission to have certain feelings and acknowledge that a situation is upsetting or unpleasant.
6. Over generalized thinking: We view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. Because we view ourselves as having failed in one thing we see ourselves failing in may things present and future.
7. Labeling: Instead of saying "I made a mistake," we tell ourselves "I'm a jerk" or "a loser." This includes those labels we've carried with us for so long. Think about the things you say to yourself. Would you allow anyone else to talk to you that way??
8. Mental Filter: We dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives.
9. Discounting the positives: We insist that our accomplishments or positive qualities don't count.
10. Jumping to conclusions: We conclude things are bad without any definite evidence.
11. Magnification or minimization: We blow things way out of proportion or we shrink their importance.
I'm sure all of us can see that we've had many of these thinking errors. The challenge is to be aware of our thinking and to stop the distorted thoughts and replace them with thoughts that are more true. I believe it takes a lot of practice, but if done can make a huge difference in your well-being.
--- Jade ----
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